I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
