There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
