I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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