Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
