is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I party with great urgency now.
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