I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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