actually, I'm a sock model
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
