it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
