I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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