Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
