Don't you send me to vm
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
