p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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