I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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