member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
