I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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