Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
