Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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