kristin has been a bad kristin
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
