My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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