Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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