doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
