3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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