No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
