there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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