Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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