youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Apparently you make a good broom.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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