Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
