I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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