Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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