Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
