Midget sex pt 2 tonight
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
