He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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