See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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