So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Randomize
