i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
