My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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