i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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