I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
