Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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