There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
smell my finger.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
