I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
