I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
