I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
