I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
