Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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