I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
