Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
