so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
