She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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