btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
