Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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