I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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