i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I FOUND THE LEGS
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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